It’s so tempting to give advice to people we care about. We want to help them feel better. We want to stop their pain.

But the thing is, we can’t do that. Only they can do that, by remembering who they are — even if they don’t have the vocabulary to put to what’s happening. They need their thinking to slow down long enough for their wisdom to emerge from the darkness and help them.

How do we give them space for that? By not giving advice. Just by being present, listening in a compassionate way and knowing that this, too, shall pass — and that they are all right, right now.

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